MENTAL HEALTH
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There are so many reasons why I hate being born into this century, then again I have to remind myself that I am lucky. There have never been a generation like this in which many people talk so openly about mental health. There are tv shows, forums, blogs, and even YouTube videos where young people are raising awareness on it. However, this doesn’t come at an easy cost, in which TV shows such as 13 Reasons Why are criticized and threatened for glorifying suicide.
Growing up is not an easy ride and those who say otherwise, well you must be pretty darn lucky. When you’re an adolescence it is easy to blame it on the hormones when we’re feeling down and angry with the world, but it’s not ok when you’re constantly feeling these emotions. I found high school years the hardest. Most of the “friends” I had were quite shitty, I hated the school curriculum, and most of the time I just felt lost and confused being the in-between, artsy kid in an academically and athletically driven institution. Of course, it also didn’t help that my best friend (the only person that I trusted with everything at that time) moved schools. Most of my evenings were spent crying alone in my bedroom, hating myself for everything that I am and am not, and wishing I could just either run away or curl into a ball and disappear. Watching 13 Reasons Why, I had no choice but to become emotionally attached to Hannah Baker because she truly resonated with me. Everything she said or felt, it was like she was reading out my teenage diary. I didn’t actually realize I had anxiety and depression until I got to college and found myself still going through these similar negative thoughts and emotions that I felt in high school. It was like all the repressed thoughts and emotions came pouring through when I hit college and realization struck, so I took it as a sign to take action. I did my research, try to take advantage of the clinics and therapy sessions provided by my university, and talk openly about it to my close friends and family. I don’t know about you, but I feel that there’s a certain kind of responsibility when it comes to living on your own; I learned to truly take care of myself, body and soul. There are no exact words to describe what anxiety and depression feels like, and I am sure is different for everyone. To me, depression comes in waves while anxiety feel like a random stranger coming up to me and choking me, where it just attacks me out of the blue. Whenever I am feeling anxious or depress, the world around me becomes bland, I don’t want to talk to anyone, I feel that everything’s out to get me, I can’t sleep, think, or eat properly, and I just feel worthless and useless in everything I do. Whenever I find myself in a social situation, I tend to use any and every excuse to get out of it. The beauty about these kind of problems is that no one can tell when you’re not ok, which is also where the danger lies in. I believe that no one should be ashamed or afraid of suffering or having suffered from mental issues, it does not make you any less strong or capable. More importantly, it does not define you. TV shows like 13 Reasons Why should be viewed as relatable content for today’s youth and used to raise the topic of mental illness, and it’s our job to take away the underlying promising messages provided from a dark and depressing story. I hope to go more in-depth about the struggles I faced and my dark periods later on as I become more confident in opening myself up. Whatever you’re struggling with, know you can get better and it’s certainly not the end of your world. |